so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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