you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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