He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
