he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
