Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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