If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
