ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
