I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize