Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
try to milk me bitch
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize