I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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