I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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