Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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