Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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