Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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