Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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