hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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