Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Redeem this text for a blowjob
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
