It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize