Grow some girl-balls and come out already
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
