That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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