oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
