she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
