went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
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hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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