Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener

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(214): a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener http://tfl.nu/2syz

Replies (6) Good night (535) Bad night (2148)
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(607): View more from New York

you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY

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(607): you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY http://tfl.nu/h6do

Replies (47) Good night (3157) Bad night (14555)
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(760): View more from California

He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

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(760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v

Replies (26) Good night (10785) Bad night (898)
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(314): View more from Missouri

You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time

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(314): You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time http://tfl.nu/thrg

Replies (17) Good night (2139) Bad night (3036)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.

(662): View more from Mississippi

Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?

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(256): Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August. (662): Dude, how the hell did you become an RA? http://tfl.nu/0n3i

Replies (6) Good night (4026) Bad night (891)
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(720): View more from Colorado

My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever

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(720): My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever http://tfl.nu/wkge

Replies (6) Good night (3307) Bad night (624)
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(310): View more from California

I'm so sick

(323): View more from California

I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.

(310): View more from California

That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..

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(310): I'm so sick (323): I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night. (310): That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy.. http://tfl.nu/0aa2

Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (1713)
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(616): View more from Michigan

he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence

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(616): he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence http://tfl.nu/qzxi

Replies (3) Good night (1634) Bad night (583)
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(425): View more from Washington

I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.

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(425): I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/vl0d

Replies (7) Good night (1665) Bad night (554)
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(631): View more from New York

They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !

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(631): They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real ! http://tfl.nu/8frh

Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (437)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.

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(303): Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs. http://tfl.nu/8ywt

Replies (6) Good night (521) Bad night (956)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

This drive is very scenic

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

And I'm chugging whiskey in the back

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

As you should, soak in all this country has to offer

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(717): This drive is very scenic (717): And I'm chugging whiskey in the back (610): As you should, soak in all this country has to offer http://tfl.nu/nm28

Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (583)
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(801): View more from Utah

I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

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(801): I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck. http://tfl.nu/p42i

Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (290)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.

(1-337): View more from Louisiana

How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.

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(337): Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM. (1-337): How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse. http://tfl.nu/m0tv

Replies (6) Good night (607) Bad night (383)
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(323): View more from California

This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.

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(323): This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin. http://tfl.nu/blfu

Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (208)

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