Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+ http://tfl.nu/62eq
  Replies (91) Good night (25036) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/qbrz
  Replies (10) Good night (580) Bad night (3835)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate http://tfl.nu/lx6z
  Replies (61) Good night (1087) Bad night (5600)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal. http://tfl.nu/hb9y
  Replies (19) Good night (4629) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name? http://tfl.nu/6xxw
  Replies (10) Good night (4536) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face? http://tfl.nu/dot3
  Replies (57) Good night (4117) Bad night (1661)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night? http://tfl.nu/t0ro
  Replies (4) Good night (4446) Bad night (1629)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either http://tfl.nu/7c24
  Replies (7) Good night (3099) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.

  (646): View more from New York

  LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair. (646): LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES http://tfl.nu/6j0d
  Replies (6) Good night (1146) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame. http://tfl.nu/xvaq
  Replies (10) Good night (967) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!" http://tfl.nu/otim
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll http://tfl.nu/osu5
  Replies (0) Good night (223) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin. http://tfl.nu/odt8
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So how did it go?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): So how did it go? (508): I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake. http://tfl.nu/kgbf
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink http://tfl.nu/q4ce
  Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (179)

Randomize