first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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