I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize