he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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