32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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