like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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