Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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