the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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