if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
