when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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