I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
