Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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