I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
this boner is exhausting
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
