I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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