Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
After last night, I could never be a politician.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish you could order shots online.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
