And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
