these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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