so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
