i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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