I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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