i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
