So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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