...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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