I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
