you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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