I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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