We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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