After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
