After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
