Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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