i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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