Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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