So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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