you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
