I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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