I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
